Happy New Year!
Greetings and Salutations, my fellow Kindred and Goths of the Dallas area and outlying suburbs. It has been quite a confused and chaotic 2003, but I wish you all a Happy New Year to come.

Now I must take a moment to "come clean" if you will, and break character. I'm sure some of you who have seen this site immediately recognized it for what it was, while others might have gotten the impression that I am just a poor deluded soul who went mad after hearing the Bauhaus song Bela Lugosi Is Dead one too many times. (It can happen to the best of us.) In 1998 I began this site as a humorous diversion for certain members of my Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying gaming group who were at the time being harassed by an all-too-real stalker, the aforementioned "Night Ranger/Knight Ranger." Among them were his ex-girlfriend and two ex-friends of the "Knight Ranger" who were being stalked by the looney in question and his accomplice (his then-girlfriend, an equally damaged and dangerous person.)

My friends were sick of his threats, his accusations that they were "Real Vampires" and his claims that he had already dealt with one of their kind, "Lucretia, Prince of Mesquite." He may not know it, but he came this close to being arrested. Some of the people he stalked even had a "sting" planned. I understand the penalties for "fighting crime" as a vigilante while riding your ten-speed around dressed in spandex and a motorcycle helmet after dark when you are a three-hundred-pound man are very severe. At least, they should be. At the very least, the Fashion Police should have done something. Think of the children!

After that, my intention was to create a Vampire: The Masquerade humor website reminicent of "The Onion." But "real life" kept interfering over the years, and I never quite had the time until now. If my facade has caused any confusion, I apologize. I also apologize to any to left me private or public inquiries in my Guestbook about possible involvement in any Vampire gaming activites. No slights to any of you were intended, though truthfully I simply would have directed you all to our resident Storytellers up at the Church---when we had our games there. Gaming activity has been regrettably slow at the Church over the past year.

So now that the "Knight Ranger" has seen fit to grace my Guestbook, I went back to his victims of five years ago and emailed them the "Knight Ranger's" guestbook entry. Then, I asked them what I should expect from such a nutcase. The words of his ex-girlfriend are most telling.

"Look for him to continually spam your Guestbook in SCREAM CAPS, as he did to another friend of mine at the time." she said. "He'll also try to "tail" you, though it generally isn't hard to spot a black Plymouth Neon riding your ass. All the while he'll be spouting quotes from Transformers and trying to act like David Hasslehoff, pretending to know Karate, and generally making a big fool of himself. He should have started with Kori if he really wanted to be a Vampire Hunter. Some psychopath actually tried to stake a friend of mine named Gideon (a fellow Vampire Gamer) at UNT a couple of years ago, and we all wondered if it was the "Knight Ranger" at work again. I'm lucky I survived with my love of the Transformers and Anime intact."

The ex-girlfriend, who has been known as Sandbat for many years in the online community and the Anime convention circut, has even written an article about some of the indignities she suffered at the hands of the "Knight Ranger" and his girlfriend "Kori," though to be honest it really makes "Kori" out to be the villain and the "Knight Ranger" out to be more of a henchman.

As for the "Knight Ranger's" comments in my Guestbook, I will now post them here along with my response:

Wednesday 12/24/2003 0:58:58am
Name: Knight Ranger
E-Mail: knight-ranger@mail.com
Homepage Title:
Homepage URL:
Referred By: Search Engine
Location:
Comments: That's a good pic of Zagato. I have been watching it for a while now, not much changes.... Maybe some time you can learn html. By the way, next time you use a quote like "It's wise to be remote in the presence of one who conjures demons" and adapt it to your own use... make sure and give credit to the author and not try and make it look like original thought. That would be misleading. We wouldn't want that. And finally I never said I had any thing to do with her death. Kind of wish I did now that it's brought up. Interesting..."

And my response:

It's screamingly funny that you, the "Knight Ranger," have accused me of unoriginality when you have named yourself after an '80s "hair band." I cannot see the name without having strains of Sister Christian reverberate painfully within my skull. I have you to thank for that, you bloody asshole!

And what about what Sandbat has told me about the time you plagarised a song by the artist Seal from the Batman Returns soundtrack and tried to pass it off as your own poetry, you nancy boy?

The only reason I use the pictures of Zagato is that I've been told that I actually resemble the character in life. Thanks to the miracle of black hair dye and the fashons at Hot Topic, fully 75% of the other men of Gothic persuasion in Dallas resemble Zagato to some extent, just as I have been informed by very reliable sources that the "Space Ghost" picture that I placed in your file resembles YOU. I've used those Zagato pictures for five years. I give CLAMP, White Wolf, and Ghost Planet credit where it is due. I'm not going to stop using those pictures on your account.

As for not being L33T, well, this page is supposed to be written by an 800-year-old Vampire. How could I make use of nifty things like HTML, advanced Javascript, Flash, and Dreamweaver and not break character? A Vampire of such advanced age who could even make use of the computer, the internet, and webpage editing software wound be doing very well indeed. There are humans less than half a century old who cannot even manage a mouse. But now that I've broken character, look for sweeping changes on this website! The bar has been raised!

Aside from that, I will now retreat back into the mask I've worn for five years and go back to being The Captain, Ventrue Elder and Harpy to the Kindred of Dallas Texas, in glad service of the Prince.

"You're motoring. What's your price for flight in finding mister right? You'll be alright tonight..."

Agggghhhh! No! It's Sister Christan again! Damn you, Knight Ranger!

---Captain Vincent Alucard.