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The Captain's Weblog
Saturday, 26 June 2004
Once again, I return.
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Echo And The Bunnymen - "The Killing Moon."
Greetings again, my fellow Kindred! Once again my Duties to my Prince have prevented me from posting as regularly as I would like. But I return!

The most recent stir-up in the Dallas Area involved a coven of infernalists, the local law, two renegade lupines from a sect known to their kind as the "Black Spiral Dancers" in Flower Mound, and a poultry truck. Needless to say things got quite messy. In truth, I must say that I have not seen a situation get so hot since Amelia Ravenwood of clan Toreador caught fire at a midnight showing of The Passion Of The Christ last March. Fortunately we had help from some local Mages in the form of a coven of Verbena sorcerers from Cedar Hill, and they have our sincerest thanks.

I know the site updates are not coming along as they should be, but patience is a virture among those who are alternately blessed with and damned to eternal unlife. (In other words, they will happen when I get around to it.)

Yours In Darkness Always,

---The Captain.

Posted by vcaptain at 6:28 PM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 26 June 2004 6:30 PM CDT
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Friday, 9 January 2004
The service at Denny's was sadly remiss last night.
Well, Dear Readers, the service at Denny's last night was sadly remiss. Not that I'm speaking out against Denny's in general. The location we usually visit during our Primogen meetings is usually up to par. Frieda the Night Manager generally runs a tight ship. Perhaps her absence the other night can explain why the generally excellent service was lacking in this instance.


As Ventrue Clan Scourge, I have been sitting in for Ventrue Primogen Alexander Hellebore Windsor-Penderschloss during his month-long absence. After some debate, we of the Primogen council had decided to go to our usual Denny's to discuss the recent annexation of the formerly Sabbat-controlled Bedford. Primogens Vladimir Hesslich of Clan Nosferatu and Mustafa Kensington of Clan Tremere had suggested the Londoner, but Primogen Kirie Cotton of Clan Gangrel objected to that choice on the grounds that the Londoner is much too expensive, and their quesadillas leave much to be desired. (Quesadillas? With all due respect to Primogen Kirie, who orders quesadillas at the Londoner?)

But Prince Eldritch finally settled the dispute by saying it was Denny's or the Waffle House, so Denny's it was. Cheap waffles or no, hearing the "Waffle House Shuffle" on that thrice-damned jukebox is too much for many of us to bear.

That said, the service...or lacktherof...that we experienced at Denny's was atrocious. We could not be seated at our usual booth in the back because it was claimed by a family of seven (at midnight! Parents, please take heed of this: mortal children under six have no business being up and about after Ten of the clock in the PM!) Instead, we were seated in the front near a table of boorish fratboys who scoffed at our Gothic mode of dress, Mustafa's fez, and the magnificent neon green-and-purple coiffure affected by Primogen Linda St. Clair of Clan Toreador.

It took nearly an hour for the serving wenches to bring a sandwich and a soft drink to Primogen 8-Ball Invisigoth of Clan Brujah, and the coffee was tepid at best. We spent most of the evening discussing the future of Bedford and sharing at Kirie's order of nachos while the waitress eyed us warily. I wanted to snap at her, "Please woman, this is DENNY'S. You should expect to see things like this on a nightly basis!" If we were the stangest sight she had beheld all evening, then she must be newly hired.

But, I digress. Hopefully Frieda will be back next week and Denny's will return to its usual standard of efficient service with no odd looks, no jibes about my Regency-era frock-coat, and no questions asked. Otherwise, I can forsee the posssibility of the Primogen council taking its business to IHOP in the near future.

Yours in Darkness,

---The Captain.

Posted by vcaptain at 5:48 PM CST
Updated: Saturday, 10 January 2004 12:52 AM CST
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Saturday, 3 January 2004
Gothic Poetry Slam.
Dear Readers,

Tonight our friend in Darkness, Azazelothrael, Lord of the Night, wishes to bear the depths of his soul to us in the form of Poetry. Please feel free to read and reflect upon these somber passages.

******************

"You know, fellow worshippers, sometimes I feel down.
In fact, sometimes I feel so down that I just have to
write some poetry to get my feelings across. Oh yes,
and I also change my name, just for the time being.

Don't mock me. This is a revelation- it represents my
inner soul, the one that's inside. Hey. I said don't
mock me. I'm being serious here.

Back to what I was saying. When I feel down, I hang
out in industrial nightclubs. Well, actually there are
no industrial nightclubs where I live. But I string
some blinking Christmas lights up in my room and turn
off all the lights, turn on some NIN, and... well...

I see there's no point in talking to you if you're
just going to laugh. Here's some spooky poetry I
wrote. Hopefully you'll understand my point of view
all in due time. Ingrates.


-J.R. Boos, AKA Azazelothrael, Lord of the Night

******************

DARK
One time I went to the store.
The store was dark.
Just like my soul.
Because it was closed.
The store, not my soul.
Actually, my soul is closed too.
Shut up. It's my poem.
Trent Reznor rules.

******************

DARKNESS: A SHORT POEM
I am a vampire.
I fly on moonlit wings.
Sometimes I crash
Into buildings.
We are creatures of the dark.
But we do not have night-vision.
That sucks.

******************

THE DARK
I am in the shadow.
My life is cold and empty.
Because I wait and wait
For the VCR repairman
Who is an hour late.
The goddamn machine
Ate my copy of "The Crow".
Fuckin' VCR.

******************

THE DARK OF NIGHT
I was at the club today.
They gave me some absinthe.
It was green
I mean bright green.
I'm talking "Re-Animator" stuff green.
But I drank it anyway.
I don't remember much after that.
I woke up in a ditch hours later.
Someone had stolen my wallet.
My jewelry too.
Those bastards.
I hate my life.

******************

INFINITE DARKNESS
Free-verse poetry is versatile.
I will demonstrate.
One can have a line as hideously, monstrously long as
this one here,
Or not.
You see?
We can teach you much.
Come to the dark side.
We are goths.

******************

Sigh... that was theraputic. I hope you now know where
I'm coming from on this whole spooky goth spooky
thing. Thank you."

******************

No, Azazelothrael. Thank YOU!

---The Captain.

Posted by vcaptain at 10:35 PM CST
Updated: Saturday, 3 January 2004 10:49 PM CST
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Thursday, 1 January 2004
Happy New Year!
Greetings and Salutations, my fellow Kindred and Goths of the Dallas area and outlying suburbs. It has been quite a confused and chaotic 2003, but I wish you all a Happy New Year to come.

Now I must take a moment to "come clean" if you will, and break character. I'm sure some of you who have seen this site immediately recognized it for what it was, while others might have gotten the impression that I am just a poor deluded soul who went mad after hearing the Bauhaus song Bela Lugosi Is Dead one too many times. (It can happen to the best of us.) In 1998 I began this site as a humorous diversion for certain members of my Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying gaming group who were at the time being harassed by an all-too-real stalker, the aforementioned "Night Ranger/Knight Ranger." Among them were his ex-girlfriend and two ex-friends of the "Knight Ranger" who were being stalked by the looney in question and his accomplice (his then-girlfriend, an equally damaged and dangerous person.)

My friends were sick of his threats, his accusations that they were "Real Vampires" and his claims that he had already dealt with one of their kind, "Lucretia, Prince of Mesquite." He may not know it, but he came this close to being arrested. Some of the people he stalked even had a "sting" planned. I understand the penalties for "fighting crime" as a vigilante while riding your ten-speed around dressed in spandex and a motorcycle helmet after dark when you are a three-hundred-pound man are very severe. At least, they should be. At the very least, the Fashion Police should have done something. Think of the children!

After that, my intention was to create a Vampire: The Masquerade humor website reminicent of "The Onion." But "real life" kept interfering over the years, and I never quite had the time until now. If my facade has caused any confusion, I apologize. I also apologize to any to left me private or public inquiries in my Guestbook about possible involvement in any Vampire gaming activites. No slights to any of you were intended, though truthfully I simply would have directed you all to our resident Storytellers up at the Church---when we had our games there. Gaming activity has been regrettably slow at the Church over the past year.

So now that the "Knight Ranger" has seen fit to grace my Guestbook, I went back to his victims of five years ago and emailed them the "Knight Ranger's" guestbook entry. Then, I asked them what I should expect from such a nutcase. The words of his ex-girlfriend are most telling.

"Look for him to continually spam your Guestbook in SCREAM CAPS, as he did to another friend of mine at the time." she said. "He'll also try to "tail" you, though it generally isn't hard to spot a black Plymouth Neon riding your ass. All the while he'll be spouting quotes from Transformers and trying to act like David Hasslehoff, pretending to know Karate, and generally making a big fool of himself. He should have started with Kori if he really wanted to be a Vampire Hunter. Some psychopath actually tried to stake a friend of mine named Gideon (a fellow Vampire Gamer) at UNT a couple of years ago, and we all wondered if it was the "Knight Ranger" at work again. I'm lucky I survived with my love of the Transformers and Anime intact."

The ex-girlfriend, who has been known as Sandbat for many years in the online community and the Anime convention circut, has even written an article about some of the indignities she suffered at the hands of the "Knight Ranger" and his girlfriend "Kori," though to be honest it really makes "Kori" out to be the villain and the "Knight Ranger" out to be more of a henchman.

As for the "Knight Ranger's" comments in my Guestbook, I will now post them here along with my response:

Wednesday 12/24/2003 0:58:58am
Name: Knight Ranger
E-Mail: knight-ranger@mail.com
Homepage Title:
Homepage URL:
Referred By: Search Engine
Location:
Comments: That's a good pic of Zagato. I have been watching it for a while now, not much changes.... Maybe some time you can learn html. By the way, next time you use a quote like "It's wise to be remote in the presence of one who conjures demons" and adapt it to your own use... make sure and give credit to the author and not try and make it look like original thought. That would be misleading. We wouldn't want that. And finally I never said I had any thing to do with her death. Kind of wish I did now that it's brought up. Interesting..."


And my response:

It's screamingly funny that you, the "Knight Ranger," have accused me of unoriginality when you have named yourself after an '80s "hair band." I cannot see the name without having strains of Sister Christian reverberate painfully within my skull. I have you to thank for that, you bloody asshole!

And what about what Sandbat has told me about the time you plagarised a song by the artist Seal from the Batman Returns soundtrack and tried to pass it off as your own poetry, you nancy boy?

The only reason I use the pictures of Zagato is that I've been told that I actually resemble the character in life. Thanks to the miracle of black hair dye and the fashons at Hot Topic, fully 75% of the other men of Gothic persuasion in Dallas resemble Zagato to some extent, just as I have been informed by very reliable sources that the "Space Ghost" picture that I placed in your file resembles YOU. I've used those Zagato pictures for five years. I give CLAMP, White Wolf, and Ghost Planet credit where it is due. I'm not going to stop using those pictures on your account.

As for not being L33T, well, this page is supposed to be written by an 800-year-old Vampire. How could I make use of nifty things like HTML, advanced Javascript, Flash, and Dreamweaver and not break character? A Vampire of such advanced age who could even make use of the computer, the internet, and webpage editing software wound be doing very well indeed. There are humans less than half a century old who cannot even manage a mouse. But now that I've broken character, look for sweeping changes on this website! The bar has been raised!

Aside from that, I will now retreat back into the mask I've worn for five years and go back to being The Captain, Ventrue Elder and Harpy to the Kindred of Dallas Texas, in glad service of the Prince.

"You're motoring. What's your price for flight in finding mister right? You'll be alright tonight..."

Agggghhhh! No! It's Sister Christan again! Damn you, Knight Ranger!

---Captain Vincent Alucard.

Posted by vcaptain at 2:04 AM CST
Updated: Sunday, 4 January 2004 3:14 PM CST
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Tuesday, 30 December 2003
Welcome to my new Weblog!
I've decided that it's finally time for me to join the current weblog craze! This will provide an excellent format in my ongoing quest to record the nightly goings-on of the Kindred here in Dallas, Texas. Stay tuned for more!

Posted by vcaptain at 7:30 PM CST
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